Kidnapping a Princess
by kittypet14
Summary: Boris and the Twins are very bored. So they decide to kidnap Alice. And just how did all of the other role holders get involved? NEW CHAP: Vivaldi runs. Julius has perverted thought. Elliot is furious. Blood is jealous. Dee narrates his perverted fantasies. Dum doesn't. Boris carries Alice. Alice is asleep. And of course,mild Peter rhyming is involved.
1. The Kidnapping

I do not own Heart No Kuni No Alice. Or Joker, or Clover, and definitely not Diamond.

Disclaimer: Said. Done. Over. Build a bridge and get over it! Move on to the story already!

* * *

"Boris, Do we have to go all the way to the stupid clock tower? That Julius guy gives us the creeps, right brother?" Dee whined. "Yeah, I don't wanna spend_ my_ break talking to some creepy old guy . . . ." Dum added. Boris rolled his eyes. "Cut it out, Julius is alright, and we're not gonna go see him, we're gonna go kidnap Alice."

At the mention of Alice, Dee and Dum's eyes widened, "Yeah! Let's go see big sis! . . . . . Wait, you wanna kidnap her?" Boris nodded, "Yeah! She's pro'lly all bored over there with Julius, and she won't come willingly, so we have to go take her first, then show her how much fun it is to hang out with us. Then she'll wanna hang out with us all the time!" Dee and Dum nodded, "Off to the tower then, to save the princess!" Boris shouted.

"Operation 'Kidnap princess from creepy guy, commence!"

"Guys! I told you, he's not that creepy!"

**With Alice~  
**  
Alice yawned as she watched Julius tinker with his clocks, she was tired from walking around all that morning, running errands for Julius. Her eyes scanned his worktable, occasionally catching something of interest. She held up an oddly shaped piece of wire. "What's this for?"

Julius looked up from his tedious work and examined the object in Alice's hand. "You just need to know that that is an essential piece which I will be needing for this clock, I don't need it now, but still, be careful with it." Alice hummed in response. "Okay . . . I'm gonna go make some coffee. Want any?" Julius nodded stoically, not noticing that Alice pocketed his super important piece of wire.

Alice smirked as she walked to the kitchen. "After all, if I have this, Julius will have to take a break!" Alice mused to herself as she prepared the coffee. Once done with said coffee, Alice carried a tray that held two cups to Julius, anticipating the score she would be getting for today. She smiled, confident she would be getting a one hundred today.

Julius took a sip, "Eighty-nine, better than yesterday's cup." Julius smiled slightly. Alice sighed, "But it's not a one hundred . . . . Meh . . . ." She started to sip her coffee, absorbed in her thoughts. _'At least it's better than yesterday, how can I make the coffee better? I need to improve . . . .' _She drank the last sip of her coffee, and laid her head down on the table, her eyes lazily watching Julius' hands at work. Her last thoughts before drifting off were: _'That coffee was good, so warm . . . .'_

**With Julius~  
**  
'_Amazing, how can someone go to sleep right after they've finished a cup of coffee? Honestly, this girl is something else.' _His eye scanned her sleeping form. _'I should carry her up to her room, it's not very comfortable when you fall asleep on the table like that . . . .' _Of course he would know that from experience. He sighed, and gently put down the clock he was working on.

He stood up and attempted to scoop up Alice without disturbing her. After struggling to hoist her up, he finally started towards the stairs that led to the bedrooms. She snored lightly as he walked up, and for the first time, he got to see her sleeping face. Not that he would ever admit this, but he thought that it was rather adorable.

He smiled, as he opened her bedroom door and gently set her down on her bed. She immediately snuggled into the warmth of his jacket when he carefully tossed it on her. _Tink Tink._ His ears pricked up at the delicate sound of metal hitting the floor. He looked down and saw the most important piece of the clock he was working on. He frowned slightly, was she trying to get him to take a break again?

He sighed and shook his head, exiting the room hastily to go finish his work.

**With everyone~**

"Boris nii-chan, are you sure this is Alice's window?" Dee questioned. "Yuppers! I always go through this one, so I'm sure!" Boris said with a grin. "Now, you wait here, and I'll throw Alice down to you, Okay?" Dee and Dum nodded cheerfully.

Before Boris could start climbing up the building, Dum asked "How are we going to make sure she doesn't run away? She gets mad when _you_ do stuff like this, and doesn't talk to _you_ for days. I don't want nee-chan to be mad at me . . . ." Boris thought for a minute, then gave his signature grin, "Then we'll blindfold her so she doesn't know it's us, and we'll make sure to tie her legs up with somethin' . . . But what do we use?"

Dee smiled, "Aren't you wearing chains and cuffs all the time? Duh." Boris nodded and began to climb.

* * *

Julius thought something was going up upstairs when he heard a rather loud thud, but shrugged it off and came to the conclusion that Alice woke up and bumped into something. But then again, he did hear her shriek . . . .

* * *

"Boris! Wha-" Boris cupped his hand over her mouth. "Shit! I forgot the blindfold!" Alice's eyes widened. "Mmmph!" Boris looked down at her. "Well, we don't want Julius to come up here and ruin the fun, let's go Alice!" Boris somehow managed to get cuffs on her legs while she was busy giving him a look that said "When I get my hands on you, I'm going to inject melted crayon wax into your veins so you die!" Yeah, that look.

Boris held Alice's tiny wrists with one hand, and with the other, tied a blindfold over her eyes, and using a piece of scotch tape, effectively stopped Alice's ability to speak. Alice sighed in her head, she might as well just let him take her to wherever he wants to go, after all, it's not like putting up a fight would do anything in this situation. After realizing that Alice stopped squirming, Boris smiled. "Come on Alice, it's not gonna be anything weird. We're just gonna have fun." And with that, Boris flung Alice out the window, and into the Twin's open arms.

"MMMMMMMMMMPH!" Alice tried to scream. Boris smiled as he watched her fall safely into the Bloody Twin's arms jumped a bit when a voice suddenly startled him. "Boris! What do you think you're doing?! Why did you- What did you do to Alice?!" Boris grinned sheepishly, replying ''I, uh, kinda just threw her out the window . . . ? Yeah, but it's not what you think! Dee and Dum-" 'You threw her out the window?!" Julius roared as he went past Boris to look over the edge, but saw nothing.

Boris followed, and before Julius could yell at him some more, Boris jumped down and started sprinting, disappearing into the forest. Julius cursed and walked downstairs. He sat in his chair, then got up, then sat back down. What was he supposed to do? Was he supposed to go after them? Or was he just making a big deal out of it?

After all, Boris and the Twins did occasionally come by now and then to visit Alice . . . . . But they had never thrown her out of a window before . . . . "ARGH! Dammit! I'm going after her!" You know that the mortician is serious when he uses words like 'dammit'.

Little did they know, someone saw and witnessed the whole thing. Of course it had to be Ace. And of course Ace was going to use this piece of information to make something fun happen.

* * *

Vivaldi was sipping a cup of her special black tea, Peter was getting angry at some of the unfortunate faceless. A loud bang disrupted their daily activities. "Guys! Guys! Alice has been kidnapped!" Ace dramatically came bursting through the doors. He smiled to himself when he saw Their reactions.

Vivaldi dropped her prized cup of tea, standing up at once. Peter accidentally pulled the trigger of the gun he was threatening the faceless with, the bullet puncturing the skin of his foot. Vivaldi was the first to react. She came power walking up to Ace, who was pretending to catch his breath. "You, idiot knight, what did you say?" Vivaldi asked over Peter's shouts of pain.

Ace looked up, and repeated, "Alice has been kidnapped." Vivaldi's face began to twist with anger, who dares take away _her_ Alice? The next thing Ace knew, Peter had somehow hobbled over and was asking questions. "Who took her? Is she safe? When was this? Why didn't you stop them? Was she crying for me? Where is she? Why-" "SILENCE!"

Vivaldi hit the floor with her heart shaped staff, and the echoes were the only thing heard throughout the room. "Idiot knight, take us to where you last saw them." Ace grinned. ''It will be my pleasure, your highness."

* * *

Blood was walking around his mansion, bored. Blood being bored was not a good thing. It was, in fact, very very bad. He sighed, where was that interesting foreigner when you needed something interesting to happen? Blood went to find Elliot, maybe they could plan another tea party, then maybe he could see the foreigner.

While on his way to Elliot's room, Blood noticed the gates seemed somehow, empty. What was missing? He stood at the window and examined the picture. Something was off . . . . Oh, right, the Twins weren't standing guard. He nodded once and went into Elliot's room. "Hey Blood." Elliot greeted from his spot on his bed. "Hello Elliot. Did you notice that the Twins are skipping work again?"

Elliot frowned. "Those little . . .! Ugh, I swear, they make my life a lot harder than it should be." He grimaced as he got up from his comfy spot on the bed and began to walk towards the exit. "When I get my hands on them, they'll be sorry. Little idiots." Blood smirked. This could be interesting.

"Allow me to accompany you." "Oh, sure, you can yell at them too. They actually listen to you."

* * *

"Hey, brother?" Dee asked Dum. "Yeah brother?" Dum answered Dee. "We're missing work, you know." Dee responded to Dum. "Hmmm . . . Oh yeah! Oh well, it's not like I care about that stupid chickie rabbit, not when Big Sis is involved." Dum smiled as he looked back to Boris, who had Alice draped over his shoulder. "Mmmph mmmph mmmph." Alice tried to speak.

"Sorry Alice, can't take the blindfold off, and can't take off the cuffs. Like we said before, we're rescuing the princess from boredom." Dee asked, confused, "You said we were kidnapping the princess, not rescuing her. I thought we were the bad guys, not the good guys." Boris shrugged. "Same diff." Boris grinned, "Anyway, We can't let you go until we get to where we're going."

Dum asked, "Speaking of which, where are we going?" Boris hummed. "Hmm . . . . I dunno . . . where should we go?" Alice wanted to bang her head against the wall. "Oh! I know! We should go to the amusement park!" Dee exclaimed. Dum nodded, "Yeah! We haven't been there in awhile, right brother? A-and Big Sis and I can have fun, and we'll go on a scary ride, and she'll be scared, and she'll cuddle with me, and then we'll go in the Love Tunnel, and then, and the-"

"SHUT UP!" Boris and Dee chorused. Alice hid her ed face in Boris' back.

When would she be able to go back to the Clock Tower? "Well then, Off to the Amusement Park!" Boris shouted heroically, eyes shining.

* * *

Julius sighed as he trudged through the forest. "DAMMIT! Where are they?!"

* * *

**ME: So, how was that? R&R! Pretty, gorgeous, please? Thank you!**

~Can you feel the _PONOPTICON_?~


	2. The Hunting

I do not own Heart no Kuni no Alice

* * *

"Goddammit, Where the hell did they take her?" Julius growled angrily. He' been walking for twenty minutes through the forest, no sign of of the Boris or Alice. Julius blew an errant strand of hair back as he scanned the spaces between the trees._ If I were an idiot who'd recently kidnapped Alice, where would I take her? _Julius' eyebrows furrowed in,

"I suppose the only place he could take her would be the Amusement Park . . ." _Curse you Boris, for disrupting my work!_ Julius trudged on in the direction he thought the Amusement Park was in.

* * *

"You, stupid knight!" Vivaldi pointed her Heart staff towards Ace, who was in an argument with Peter. "Yeah?" He responded, looking over his shoulder and back to Vivaldi. "You said we were going to the place where Alice was kidnapped, we've been walking for at least half an hour, and I've yet to see any trace of Alice." Ace nodded as if he were actually thinking seriously, then he grinned. "Oh yeah, I knew we were looking for something! I just couldn't remember what! It was Alice, you say? We-"

Ace was then cut off by Vivaldi. "You stupid, insolent knight! Of course we're looking for Alice, how dimwitted can you be?! Why else would we come all the way here for?! You stupid- JUST, . . JUST, . . . PETER, OFF WITH HIS HEAD!" Vivaldi screeched, trying to hit Ace with her staff. "Whoa, your majesty, calm dow-" Ace was efficiently dodging all of Vivaldi's random swings, when he was cut off by Peter, who was having a panic attack.

"ACE! YOU STUPID F*CKIN' B*STARD! WHY THE HELL DID I EVEN TRUST YOU?! YOU FORGOT?! YOU FORGOT WHERE MY POOR, SWEET ALICE **IS**?! YOUR, MAJESTY, WE MIGHT AS WELL ASSUME HE KIDNAPPED HER, SO THAT ALICE WOULD BE ALL **HIS**!" Peter started to wail, crying on and on about Alice.

"Shut up, Peter! We are trying to knock his head off! Off with you're head! Off,_ -grunt-_ With, _-Huff-_ You're, _-Growl-_, **FREAKIN' HEAD**!" Vivaldi shouted at Ace, trying her best to hit him with her staff. Ace, deciding that this had gone on far enough, decided to say, "Oh yeah, now I remember! I think she was at Julius' place, and then Boris threw her out the window! Yeah! That was it!" Ace smiled, "So both of you can stop with you're little meltdowns, and we can all go look for Alice at the Amusement park, since that's where Boris lives."

Peter and Vivaldi smiled evilly, "Or, we can kill you, and then go to the Amusement Park and look for Alice." Peter spoke. "Yes, we very much like that plan better, what do you think, _Ace?"_ Vivaldi was grinning, and she had called Ace, ACE. Not stupid. Not insolent knight. Ace gulped. It probably hadn't been the best thing ever to agitate Vivaldi and Peter. Especially if it was concerning Alice.

"H-hey, come on, guys, we're all friends here. No need to get hostile. Heh." Vivaldi and Peter just smiled. "When were we ever considered friends?"

* * *

Elliot and Blood headed to the outer skirts of the Mafia building, heading off into a random direction.

"Hey Blood, do you have any clues on where those brats would go? Dammit, they could be anywhere by now. . . . ARRGH! Stupid! When I get my hands on them, I don't even want to hear their stupid excuses. 'Chickie rabbit this' 'Chickie rabbit that', no, I'm sending their stupid clocks off to Julius! Who're they calling a rabbit anyway? It's so obvious that I'm a dog! Annoying, irritati-" Elliot rambled until he was cut off by Blood.

"Hey, isn't that them?" Elliot's gaze followed the length of Blood's arm, finally settling in the direction he was pointing in, only to see Alice, cuffed and blindfolded, not to mention slung casually over the shoulder of the Cheshire Cat. To add to his anger, he saw the Twins walking along with said Cheshire Cat. His eyes widened, and he let out a very vicious sounding snarl. Blood smirked, "Oh, my, what's the young lady got herself into this time?"

Although, under Blood's composure, he detected a hint of something he hadn't felt in awhile, _jealousy_. His eyes flashed dangerously at the one who held Alice. Instead of unleashing his anger, he said quietly, "Come, Elliot, it looks like the foreigner has stirred up a bit of fun. We shall join them." Elliot's ears stiffened a bit, Blood wanted to join them? "O-okay, sure." Elliot began to clench and unclench his fists as they drew nearer to the unsuspecting crowd. Blood spoke in a low voice, "Hello, what might we have here?"

* * *

"Hey, Big Sis, are you doin' all right back there?" Dee called back to Alice. She didn't respond. Boris shook her a little, only to be greeted with a small snore. "She's asleep. To think of it, I'm kinda feeling up for a nap right now." Dee and Dum pouted, "Aw, that sucks, if she's asleep and you're tired, how are we going to have any fun?"

Boris, sighed, they were right. "Hmm . . . . Well, how about this? We can go to the Amusement Park, and all crash out in my room!Like a sleepover! The night period should be coming on soon, and when we wake up in the morning, we can have a whole day with Alice!" Dee and Dum's eyes lit up as soon as they heard the words 'sleepover' AND 'Alice'.

"Yeah! That's a great idea! And then me and nee-chan can sleep in the space, and cuddle, and she'll have a nightmare, and get scared, and then I'll comfort her, and then we'll do the naughty naugh-" "Shut the Hell up, pervert!" Boris and Dum interrupted Dee's perverted narration with a prompt slap to both sides of Dee's face. Alice stirred, causing the three to decide to whisper.

"-Huff- Anyway, Boris nii-chan, how far away is the Amusement Park?" Dee whispered to Boris. Boris looked around the area, then whispered back, "Just a bit more of walking, and we should be there soon enough." Dee and Dum nodded. They began to be enveloped in a comfortable silence that was occasionally broken by Alice's soft snoring. Of course, we all know who would break it next.

"Hello, what might we have here?"

* * *

Julius, having not been out of the tower often, found himself lost in the forest. He cursed, taking a moment to gather his thoughts._ Now what? How can I help Alice if I'm lost? Who knows what they could be doing with her? . . . . _Blood rose to Julius' face as what most might call 'perverted' images flooded his mind.

_ Dammit, I'm wasting time, and Alice could be in serious trouble!_ Just as Julius was about to run in some random direction, he heard a terrible noise that cam from his right. He covered his ears, it sounded like someone was deliberately scraping a fork against a glass plate. Over and over again. _Only one person can cause such a ruckus. Gowland._

A thought then occurred to Julius. Gowland certainly had been outside of his domain, so he would be familiar with the forest _and_ Boris lived with him. He could help Julius locate Alice, right? And so, with much determination, Julius began to walk towards Gowland.

_This is for Alice. This is for Alice. This is for Alice!_

He thought as his ears were relentlessly being attacked by 'music'.

* * *

Vivaldi drew closer and closer to Ace, muttering 'Off with your head' repeatedly. Ace was officially creeped out. Peter wasn't helping in the slightest, as he was next to Vivaldi, begging her to let him kill, in his words, 'The one who hides Alice'.

Ace's eyes swept from side to side, trying to look for an escape route. There were none. It seems he would have to try and convince them not to kill them. "Hey, r-remember that I'm the only one who knows where Alice is, a-and if you kill me, then you'll never find her. I can help you." He said, mustering up bravery as he analyzed their expressions. Vivaldi seemed unfazed, whereas Peter looked like he was weighing his options.

After a moment, Peter spoke, "Sorry, no deal, knight, for the power of love will put her in my sight." Ace cursed, and started to run, right towards Vivaldi. This surprised her, and her shock gave Ace the advantage as he plowed right past her, sending her and her Heart shaped staff to the ground. Peter glared at Ace as passed, not wasting a moment to yell "After him!" Vivaldi got up at once, grabbing her skirts and sprinting.

Ace gulped. He never thought they would follow him. Ace smirked slightly, the foreigner really had changed these people. To the point where Vivaldi would actually _run_, and the normally unemotional Peter would actually become a head over heels creeper stalker guy. His eyes flashed with interest.

The foreigner was so _interesting_.

He licked his lips, he absolutely had to have her. Ace formed a plan over Vivaldi's threats and Peters rhyming threats. "If I can bring them to Alice, then they'll be so caught up in making sure she's okay, they'll stop trying to kill me. And, I can finally see Alice.

* * *

**ME: And finished! Sorry I haven't updated in awhile, this is the first time I've been able to have access to a laptop with INTERNET in awhile. So, of course since it's the internet, and people want to use it, I had to write this in one sitting. So it was kind of rushed. So, sorry for the grammatical errors and incorrect spellings.**

**As always, please send me all your thoughts! They can be magically transported to me by pressing the Review button below~!**

**See you next time!**

**CAN YOU FEEL THE_ PONOPTICON?!~_**


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